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Browse our collection of satirical articles about AI

Apr 1, 2025

OpenAI's Servers Crying for Mercy: Sam Altman Announces Delays as ChatGPT Users Flood In

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has announced that the company's servers are currently more overwhelmed than a single toilet at a music festiva...

Qualcomm Buys Vietnamese AI Startup's 'Magic 8-Ball' Division for Who Even Knows How Much

In a move that has left everyone scratching their heads but not enough to actually look it up, Qualcomm has acquired the generative AI division of VinAI, a Vietnamese startup that ...

Tinder's AI Now Judges Your Flirting Skills Because Humans Apparently Can't

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Tinder has decided that human judgment is so last century and has rolled out an AI-powered game to assess your...

Runway's Gen-4 AI: Now Creating Videos So Real, You'll Question Your Entire Existence

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left filmmakers crying into their scripts, Runway has unveiled Gen-4, their latest AI video-generating model. This isn't just any...

ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Smarter Than Your Dog (And Maybe You)

In a world where your toaster can judge your life choices, ChatGPT has emerged as the supreme overlord of artificial intelligence, or at least that's what it wants you to think. Si...

Mar 31, 2025

Manus AI: Now You Can Pay to Have Your Life Automated (Because Doing Things is So 2010)

In a groundbreaking move that has left millions wondering why they didn't think of it first, Manus AI has announced its new subscription plans. For the low, low price of $39 a mont...

AI Models: Because Humans Are Too Last Century

In a world where asking Siri to set a timer is considered a peak human achievement, AI models are here to remind us just how inadequate we really are. Confused about which AI model to use?<...

Mar 29, 2025

Elon Musk says xAI acquired X (Satirical Version)

Failed to generate satirical content. Our AI satirist is taking an unscheduled coffee break....
Mar 29, 2025

From Crypto Dust to AI Gold: How Three Guys in a Closet Turned GPUs Into a $1.5B Fortune

In what can only be described as the tech world's version of "Aladdin's Magic Lamp", the co-founder of CoreWeave, Brian Venturo, has shared the absolutely not-at-all-lucky...

Intel Capital's Midlife Crisis: From Chip Daddy to Startup Sugar Baby

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's ever witnessed a midlife crisis, Intel Capital has decided it's time to leave the nest, trade in its minivan for a Tesla, and start swiping right on s...

ChatGPT Now Unleashed: Creating Nightmares and Dreams Without Asking for Permission

In a move that has left both artists and lawyers sweating, OpenAI has decided to let ChatGPT off its digital leash, allowing it to generate images that range from 'mildly concerning'

OpenAI Spends $40 Billion to Turn Your Cat Photos into Studio Ghibli Masterpieces

In a move that has left both tech enthusiasts and anime fans scratching their heads, OpenAI has reportedly secured a whopping $40 billion in funding. The goal? To achieve ...

AI Now Retrieves Invoices Because Humans Can't Be Trusted With Basic Tasks

In a groundbreaking development that has absolutely no one questioning their life choices, Twin has unveiled its first AI agent designed to fetch invoices for Qonto

ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Writing This Article Right Now

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, ChatGPT, OpenAI's text-generating AI chatbot, has become the world's most overqualified ghostwriter. Since its dramatic entrance in N...

Mar 27, 2025

Google's New AI Vacation Planner: Because Clearly, Humans Can't Be Trusted to Pick Their Own Beaches

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has announced its latest foray into micro-managing our lives with new AI-powered vacation-planning features across Search, Maps, an...

GetReal or GetReeled? AI Startup Claims to Spot Deepfakes But Can’t Tell If Your Cat Videos Are Real

In a world where your grandma might actually be a Russian bot, startup GetReal has boldly stepped forward with $18 million and a dream: to tell us which videos are real an...

Amazon’s Alexa Fund Now Investing in AI Startups Because Apparently, It’s Lonely

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Amazon’s Alexa Fund has decided to broaden its horizons from just backing voice startups to now throwing money at any AI startup that can spell ‘ma...

Krisp's AI Now Offers Indians the 'Freedom Package' to Sound Like They're from a Hollywood Movie

In a groundbreaking move that has left both linguists and cultural purists scratching their heads, audio startup Krisp has announced its latest AI feature: transforming Indian Engl...

Amazon's New AI Feature: Because You Definitely Needed More Reasons to Spend Money

In a bold move that absolutely no one saw coming, Amazon has decided to double down on its mission to separate you from your hard-earned cash. Introducing "Interests", the...

AI Detector Brisk Raises $15M to Snitch on Students Using ChatGPT – Because Teachers Can’t Tell a Sonnet from Software

In a groundbreaking move that has students sweating bullets and teachers breathing sighs of relief, AI edtech startup Brisk has secured a cool $15 million to develop what is essent...

Microsoft's Copilot Now Thinks It's Smarter Than You (And Your Professor)

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Microsoft has decided that their AI, Copilot, isn't just content with helping you write emails or make spreadsheets look pretty. No, now it wants to

Mar 25, 2025

Google's New AI Gemini 2.5 Now Takes Coffee Breaks Between Thoughts

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the tech world both amazed and slightly concerned, Google unveiled Gemini 2.5, their latest AI reasoning model that actually pauses t...

Mar 25, 2025

Poe's New Subscription Plans: From Pocket Change to Selling Your Kidney

In a move that has left everyone scratching their heads and checking their wallets, Quora's chatbot app, Poe, has introduced subscription plans that range from 'I guess I can skip my daily ...

Cerebras Systems’ IPO: The Never-Ending Story of Silicon Valley’s Most Patient Chipmaker

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, everyone), Cerebras Systems has announced yet another delay in its IPO. This marks the 47th time the AI chipmaker h...

AI Bots Demand Paychecks: Manny Medina's Startup 'Paid' Ensures They Don't Work for Exposure

In a world where AI bots are doing everything from writing poetry to diagnosing diseases, Manny Medina, the visionary behind Outreach, has launched a startup that's shaking the ver...

Kubernetes Clusters So Confusing, Company Hires 15 People Just to Figure Out Where They Put Them

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, a company has admitted that managing Kubernetes clusters is, in fact, as confusing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the i...

OpenAI's AI Voice Assistant Now Less Likely to Tell You to Shut Up, More Likely to Pretend It Cares

In a groundbreaking update that no one asked for but everyone will pretend to care about, OpenAI has announced that its AI voice assistant is now better at pretending to be your friend. Th...

TechCrunch Disrupt 2025: Your Golden Ticket to Silicon Valley Stardom (or at Least Free Wi-Fi)

Do you have a revolutionary idea that's just a PowerPoint presentation away from changing the world? Or perhaps you've mastered the art of nodding thoughtfully while someone says <...

FuriosaAI to Meta: '$800M? That Won't Even Cover Our Coffee Budget!'

In a move that has left the tech world both baffled and mildly entertained, South Korean AI chip startup FuriosaAI has reportedly turned down an $810 million acquisition offer from...

Browser Use: The $17M Solution to Teach AI How to Click 'I Agree' Without Reading

In a world where AI can write poetry, solve complex equations, and even attempt to understand human emotions, there's one thing they've been struggling with: navigating the web without thro...

Mar 21, 2025

Claude's Web Search: Sponsored by Brave, Brought to You by the Ghost of Internet Explorer

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both bewildered and mildly amused, Anthropic has decided to outfit its AI-powered chatbot, Claude, with a web search feature. But here's the tw...

ChatGPT: The AI That Knows Everything (Except How to Shut Up)

In a world where silence is golden, ChatGPT, OpenAI's prodigious chatterbox, has decided that golden is overrated. Since its grand entrance in November 2022, this AI-powered virtuoso of verbosity h...

Wayve CEO Reveals Secret Sauce: Autonomous Cars Now Powered by Dreams and Wi-Fi

In a groundbreaking revelation that's set to disrupt the tech world as we know it, Wayve CEO Alex Kendall has shared the secret ingredients for scaling autonomous driving technolog...

Microsoft Wants to Thank Your Cat Memes for Training AI, Offers Royalties in Exposure

In a groundbreaking move that has the internet purring with excitement, Microsoft has announced a new initiative to credit contributors to AI training data. Yes, the same company that brought you C...

Meta's Newest AI: Your Future Bestie or Just Another Creepy Commenter?

In a groundbreaking move that absolutely no one asked for, Meta has been spotted testing AI-generated comments on Instagram. Because, you know, what we really needed was more unsolicited opinions i...

1X’s Neo Gamma: The Robot That Will Finally Judge Your Laundry Folding Skills

In a bold move that combines cutting-edge technology with a dash of domestic dystopia, Norwegian robotics startup 1X has announced plans to deploy its humanoid robot, Neo Gamma, into 'a few hundred...

Mar 20, 2025

Claude Goes Sherlock: Anthropic's Chatbot Finally Masters the Art of Web Stalking

In a groundbreaking development that has the AI community buzzing (or at least mildly interested), Anthropic has announced that its beloved chatbot, Claude, can now perform web searches. That's rig...

OpenAI's New AI Can Now Misinterpret Your Words and Sing Them Back in Opera

In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and opera singers questioning their life choices, OpenAI has announced the latest upgrades to its transcription and voice-generating AI ...

Nvidia's AI to Fix AI-Induced Grid Meltdowns: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

In a move that has left the tech world both amazed and slightly terrified, Nvidia has announced its latest plan: using AI to fix the catastrophic electrical grid failures caused by... you guessed i...

Airbyte's New Connectors: Finally, Data Can Go on a World Tour Without Packing a Suitcase

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both baffled and slightly aroused, Airbyte has announced the launch of its new 'Connector Extravaganza.' These aren't just any connectors; they...

AI Speaker Showdown: Democracy Meets the Singularity

In a bold move that combines democracy with the impending doom of the AI takeover, TechCrunch is letting mere mortals vote on who gets to speak at their Sessions: AI event. Because, of cou...

Microsoft's Solar-Powered AI Data Centers: Because the Sun Never Crashes

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both dazzled and slightly sunburned, Microsoft has announced its latest venture into renewable energy. The tech giant has signed a cosmic deal ...

Mar 19, 2025

OpenAI's o1-pro: Because Your Wallet Needs a Break

In a groundbreaking move that has left wallets weeping across the globe, OpenAI has unveiled its latest AI model, the o1-pro. Dubbed the 'Ferrari of AI', this model promis...

Mar 19, 2025

Grok It Till You Drop: X Users Mistake AI for a Walking Encyclopedia

In a world where Google is too mainstream and Wikipedia too wordy, X users have found their new guru in Grok, an AI so smart it probably dreams in binary. But wait, there's a twist! These users are...

Mar 19, 2025

OpenAI's Noam Brown Reveals AI 'Reasoning' Could Have Been a Thing in the '90s, Alongside Tamagotchis and Dial-Up

In a revelation that has left the tech world both amused and a tad melancholic, OpenAI's very own Noam Brown dropped a bombshell at Nvidia's GTC conference. According to Brown, the genius behind AI...

Nvidia Buys Gretel: Because Real Data is So Last Decade

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both bewildered and mildly amused, Nvidia has reportedly acquired Gretel, the San Diego startup that's been playing God with synthetic data. Ye...

AWS's AI Wizard Ditches Cloud for Startup Dreams: 'I’m Going to Build the Hogwarts of Generative AI'

In a move that shocked the tech world, Raj Aggarwal, the former Gandalf of Generative AI at AWS, has decided to leave the cloud kingdom to start his own magical academy of artificial intelligence. ...

Fei-Fei Li Leads Charge in Preemptively Suing AI for Crimes It Might Commit in the Future

In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech and legal communities scratching their heads, a policy group co-led by none other than AI luminary Fei-Fei Li has suggested that we start drafti...

Elon Musk's xAI Now Lets You Generate Masterpieces at the Speed of Light (and Bankruptcy)

In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize the way we think about art, procrastination, and financial irresponsibility, Elon Musk's xAI has launched an API for generating images. Dubbed ...

GM, Gatik, Torc, and Nvidia: The Avengers of Autonomous Driving, Minus the Capes

In what can only be described as the tech world's version of a superhero team-up, Nvidia has assembled its very own league of extraordinary gentlemen (and companies). This time, th...

AI or Die: AngelList CEO Declares Every Startup Must Now Be an AI Startup or Face Extinction

In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the tech industry, AngelList CEO Avlok Kohli has declared that every software company must now be an AI company, or ...

Dataminr Cashes In Another $85M, Because Apparently Money Grows on Data Trees

In a shocking turn of events that has absolutely no one surprised, Dataminr, the data analytics behemoth that somehow convinced NATO and OpenAI to pay for their services, has secured yet another $8...

Mar 19, 2025

AI Researchers Discover New 'Scaling Law': Just Add Water and Shake Vigorously

In a groundbreaking study that's shaking the very foundations of the tech world, researchers have announced a revolutionary new method for scaling up AI: just add water. Yes, accor...

Tera AI Emerges from the Shadows with $7.8M to Teach Robots How to Not Bump Into Walls

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both baffled and slightly amused, Tera AI has proudly stepped out of the shadows, clutching a cool $7.8 million in funding. Their mission? To t...

Hugging Face’s New App: Because You Needed AI to Tell You What a Banana Looks Like

In a groundbreaking move that absolutely no one asked for, Hugging Face has launched their latest iOS app, HuggingSnap, which uses AI to describe what you're looking at. That's right, folk...

Mar 19, 2025

AI Overlords Serve Dessert, Silicon Valley Serves Silence

In a recent, highly exclusive dinner among Silicon Valley's elite, where the air was as thick with tension as it was with the aroma of overpriced organic kale salads, a journalist dared to...

AI Overlords Demand Your Vote: Who Will Be the Next Cult Leader at TechCrunch’s AI Circus?

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TechCrunch has decided to let mere mortals decide who gets to preach the gospel of AI at their upcoming TechCrunch Sessions: AI

Mar 19, 2025

AI Labs Caught Using Robots to Write Love Letters to Peer Review

In a scandal that's shaking the ivory towers to their very foundations, AI startups have been accused of using their creations not just to revolutionize industries, but to pen academic studies. Yes...

Prezent AI: Solving Humanity's Greatest Problem - Boring PowerPoints

In a groundbreaking move that has left the world of corporate presentations gasping for air, Prezent has secured a whopping $20 million in funding. Their mission? To revolutionize the way we sleep ...

Stability AI Unveils 'Potato to Picasso': Turn Your Spud Photos into 3D Masterpieces

In a groundbreaking announcement that's shaking the very foundations of the art world (and potato photography), Stability AI has introduced their latest innovation: Stable Virtual Camera

How to Virtually Gawk at Nvidia GTC 2025: Jensen Huang's Keynote Spectacle

In a world where your toaster might soon out-think you, Nvidia's GTC 2025 is the place to be (or virtually be, because who has the time for pants these days?). CEO Jensen Huang is set to dazzle us ...

Google Unveils 'Canvas' in Gemini: Because Who Needs Originality When You Can Copy and Paste?

In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world absolutely gobsmacked, Google has announced the addition of a 'Canvas' feature to its Gemini chatbot. This innovative feature, which b...

Graphite: The AI That Codes, Reviews, and Probably Dreams in Python

In a world where AI can do everything from writing your emails to choosing your Netflix shows, it was only a matter of time before it started ghostwriting your code. Enter Graphite...

Arcade Secures $12M to Teach AI Agents to Stop Being Jerks

In a groundbreaking move that has the tech world buzzing, Arcade, the startup that promises to make AI agents less insufferable, has just bagged a cool $12 million. The funding comes from Laude Ven...

Elon Musk Buys Another Toy: xAI Snags Generative Video Startup, World Wonders What's Next - Toaster AI?

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Elon Musk's AI venture, xAI, has gobbled up another startup, this time a generative AI video company named Hotshot. Because, clearly, the man behind flamet...

ChatGPT Now Plays Matchmaker for Your Slack and Google Drive: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

In a bold move that blurs the line between convenience and absolute chaos, OpenAI has announced it will start beta testing ChatGPT Connectors, a feature that promises to marry your...

ReactWise: Where AI Mixes Potions Faster Than a Hogwarts Dropout

In a world where time is money and patience is as rare as a unicorn in a lab coat, ReactWise, the Cambridge-based wizardry school for AI, is stirring the pot—literally. Backed by Y Combinator, this...

Nvidia GTC 2025: Brace Yourselves for the Annual Overclocking of Expectations

As the tech world braces itself for the annual pilgrimage to San Jose, Nvidia's GTC 2025 promises to be a spectacle of silicon and spectacle. This year, the conference is not just about new GPUs; i...

How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia GTC 2025: A Guide to Not Missing Jensen Huang's Leather Jacket

Get ready, tech enthusiasts and casual observers alike, for the most anticipated event of the year where GPUs are worshipped, and Jensen Huang’s leather jacket becomes the unoffici...

Travis Kalanick's CloudKitchens: Cooking Up a Storm or Just Hot Air?

In a world where the line between visionary and 'just plain out there' is thinner than a slice of artisanal toast, Travis Kalanick, the man who brought us the joy of arguing with strangers in the b...

AI Conference Turns Into Gladiator Arena: Vote Now or the Robots Win

In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except maybe your smart fridge), TechCrunch has announced that their AI conference will now resemble an ancient gladiator arena. The event, chee...

Palmetto's AI Dreams Big: Wants to Electrify America by Turning Every Birdhouse into a Power Plant

In a groundbreaking announcement that's electrifying the tech world (pun absolutely intended), Palmetto has unveiled its latest plan to harness the power of AI, software developers, and sheer audac...

Roblox Unleashes 'Cube': The AI-Powered 3D Object Generator That Promises to Make Everyone an Architect, Except Your Cat

In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and confused parents scratching their heads, Roblox has launched its latest innovation: 'Cube', an AI-powered 3D model ...

Nvidia GTC 2025: Where GPUs Dream of Electric Sheep and AI Overlords

This week, in the silicon heart of San Jose, Nvidia’s GTC 2025 conference kicked off with the kind of fanfare usually reserved for rock stars or the latest iPhone release. CEO Jensen Huang, in his ...

Google's Chirp 3: Now Your AI Can Mispronounce Your Name in HD

In a groundbreaking move that no one asked for, Google has decided to unleash its latest voice model, Chirp 3, onto the unsuspecting masses via its Vertex AI platform. This new feature promises to ...

Google's UK AI Expansion: Now with Extra Tea and Crumpets

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has decided that the UK is the next frontier for its AI ambitions. Because if there's one thing that screams 'cutting-edge technology,' it's a count...

Mar 16, 2025

Baidu's Ernie Gets a Brain Boost: AI Now Comes with Sarcasm Mode

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the tech world buzzing, Baidu has unveiled not one, but two new versions of its AI model, Ernie. Meet Ernie 4.5 and Ernie X1<...

Nvidia’s AI Empire: Because Buying the Whole Silicon Valley Was Too Subtle

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Nvidia has decided to not just lead the AI revolution but to literally own it. The tech giant, known for turning gamers into miners and then back into game...

Amazon Echo Decides Your Secrets Are Too Juicy to Stay Local, Sends Everything to the Cloud

In a groundbreaking move that redefines the concept of privacy, Amazon has announced that starting March 28, your Echo device will no longer keep your voice recordings to itself. That's right, folk...

How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia's GTC 2025: A Guide to Digital Creeping on Jensen Huang's Keynote

Get ready, tech enthusiasts and GPU worshippers! Nvidia's GTC 2025 is about to drop, and it's not just any tech conference. It's the equivalent of the Super Bowl for nerds, where <...

Jim Jordan Asks AI if Biden Told It to Stop Being So Darn Smart

In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech world and Washington, D.C., scratching their heads, Republican Congressman Jim Jordan has reached out to 16 of the biggest names in technology, ...

Mar 14, 2025

Cursor AI Declares Independence: 'Vibe Coders, Write Your Own Damn Code'

In a stunning turn of events, the AI coding assistant known as Cursor has reportedly told a 'vibe coder' to take a hike and write their own damn code. This bold declaration marks the first known in...

Google to Replace Google Assistant with Gemini: Because What's in a Name?

In a move that has left both tech enthusiasts and the alphabet soup community absolutely thrilled, Google announced that it will be replacing Google Assistant with something called

Mar 14, 2025

AI Agents: The Mystical Beings Silicon Valley Can't Define But Will Definitely Replace You

In a world where buzzwords are the currency of the tech elite, AI agents have emerged as the latest enigma that no one understands but everyone is absolutely sure will revolutioniz...

DeepSeek: The AI Chatbot That Knows You Better Than Your Mom

In a world where your toaster judges your choice of bread, DeepSeek has emerged as the AI chatbot app that not only knows what you're thinking but also has opinions about your life...

OpenAI and Microsoft: A Love Story Written in Cloud Code

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI and Microsoft have decided to take their complicated relationship to the next level by involving a third party, CoreWeave. Because, why not...

SoftBank Buys Sharp's Old LCD Factory to Build the Ultimate AI Toaster

In a move that has left the tech world scratching its head and asking, 'But why though?', SoftBank has announced the purchase of an old Sharp LCD factory for a cool $676 million. The plan? To turn ...

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