SoftBank Buys Sharp's Old LCD Factory to Build the Ultimate AI Toaster

In a move that has left the tech world scratching its head and asking, 'But why though?', SoftBank has announced the purchase of an old Sharp LCD factory for a cool $676 million. The plan? To turn it into the most advanced AI research facility the world has ever seen — or perhaps just a very expensive toaster factory. The company, known for its ambitious bets on technology and its founder Masayoshi Son's uncanny ability to throw money at anything that vaguely resembles innovation, says this is part of its grand plan to dominate the AI market in Japan.

According to sources, the factory, which once churned out LCD panels like there was no tomorrow, will now be repurposed to churn out sentient toasters and self-aware microwaves. 'This is the future,' said a SoftBank spokesperson while holding a prototype AI toaster that can apparently recommend the perfect avocado toast recipe based on your mood and zodiac sign. 'Why settle for dumb appliances when your toaster can judge your life choices in real-time?'

SoftBank’s partnership with OpenAI has also raised eyebrows. 'We’re excited to collaborate with OpenAI to create AI that not only thinks but also feels,' the spokesperson added, presumably while patting a Roomba that had just written a haiku about existential dread. The factory, located in the heart of Japan, will reportedly be equipped with state-of-the-art labs, robot butlers, and a vending machine that dispenses venture capital.

Critics, however, are not convinced. 'This sounds like a plot point from a bad sci-fi movie,' said one analyst, who wished to remain anonymous. 'Next thing you know, SoftBank will be buying abandoned amusement parks to train AI clowns.' Meanwhile, Sharp, the former owner of the factory, has reportedly been celebrating the sale by investing the $676 million into making their new line of smart refrigerators that can tweet about your expired milk.

As SoftBank marches forward with its AI ambitions, one thing is clear: the future is weird, expensive, and possibly sentient. Whether this factory becomes a hub of groundbreaking AI research or just a very fancy place to make toast, only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure — your kitchen appliances will never be the same again.