Kubernetes Clusters So Confusing, Company Hires 15 People Just to Figure Out Where They Put Them

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, a company has admitted that managing Kubernetes clusters is, in fact, as confusing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. Sam Weaver, former VP of Product Management at Unqork, reportedly had a lightbulb moment when he realized that their Kubernetes clusters were more scattered than his thoughts during a Monday morning meeting.

"We looked everywhere for a solution," Weaver confessed, "under the couch, in the fridge, even in that one drawer everyone has full of random cables. Nothing." Faced with this dire situation, Unqork did what any rational company would do: they assembled a 15-person team to build a management platform. Because when life gives you Kubernetes, you make Kubernetesade.

Plural’s platform promises to do what no other tool has managed so far: keep track of your Kubernetes clusters without making you want to throw your computer out the window. "It’s like herding cats, but the cats are made of code and they’re all named Steve," explained one developer, who wished to remain anonymous because they’re still traumatized by their last cluster migration.

The tech community has reacted with a mix of skepticism and relief. "Finally, a tool that might stop me from getting 3 AM alerts because a cluster decided to take a spontaneous vacation," tweeted one sleep-deprived sysadmin. Meanwhile, competitors are scrambling to release their own versions, reportedly code-named "Project Please Don’t Leave Us for Plural."

In related news, the number of developers Googling "how to explain Kubernetes to my parents" has hit an all-time high.