AI Overlords Demand Your Vote: Who Will Be the Next Cult Leader at TechCrunch’s AI Circus?

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TechCrunch has decided to let mere mortals decide who gets to preach the gospel of AI at their upcoming TechCrunch Sessions: AI. That’s right, folks, your voice matters! (At least until the AI overlords take over and render your opinions obsolete.)

Six finalists have been chosen to compete in this high-stakes popularity contest, where the prize is the chance to stand on a stage, wave their hands dramatically, and say the word "algorithm" a lot. Who will win? Will it be the professor who claims to have invented "sentient toasters"? Or the entrepreneur who promises "AI-powered nap optimization"? The suspense is killing us—and by "us," we mean the AI bots monitoring your reactions right now.

But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just any ordinary conference. Oh no. This is Zellerbach Hall at UC Berkeley, where the air is thick with the scent of kombucha and the faint sound of someone arguing about blockchain in the background. It’s the perfect setting for a bunch of tech gurus to convince you that AI will either save humanity or destroy it—depending on who’s holding the mic.

So, how can you participate in this historic event? Simple! Just visit TechCrunch’s website, click a button, and pray that your choice doesn’t accidentally trigger Skynet. The stakes are low, but the drama is high. Will you vote for the person who promises to "democratize AI" or the one who’s secretly building a robot army in their garage? The choice is yours—for now.

Remember, your vote could determine the future of AI. Or, more likely, it’ll determine who gets to awkwardly stumble through their PowerPoint slides while everyone else checks their email. Either way, democracy has never felt so... artificial.