Manus AI: Now You Can Pay to Have Your Life Automated (Because Doing Things is So 2010)

In a groundbreaking move that has left millions wondering why they didn't think of it first, Manus AI has announced its new subscription plans. For the low, low price of $39 a month (or roughly the cost of a decent dinner), you too can have an AI do things you're perfectly capable of doing yourself. Welcome to the future, where laziness isn't just a lifestyle—it's a subscription service.

"Why waste precious seconds crafting a wedding invitation when an AI can do it... almost as well as you?" asks no one ever. Yet, here we are. Manus AI, the viral sensation from China, is betting big on humanity's collective desire to outsource every conceivable task to machines. From web pages to scoring sheets, if it can be automated, Manus AI is on it—like a robot with a caffeine addiction.

But wait, there's more! With the launch of their mobile app, you can now summon your AI overlord from the convenience of your smartphone. That's right, folks. The future is here, and it's judging your life choices one automated task at a time.

• Plan A: For $39/month, Manus AI will do the things you hate doing. Like thinking.
• Plan B: For $99/month, it'll also pretend to care about your feelings. (Emotional labor not included.)

In related news, sales of "I'd Rather Be Napping" T-shirts have skyrocketed since the announcement. Coincidence? We think not.