Jim Jordan Asks AI if Biden Told It to Stop Being So Darn Smart

In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech world and Washington, D.C., scratching their heads, Republican Congressman Jim Jordan has reached out to 16 of the biggest names in technology, including Google and OpenAI, with a simple question: 'Did Biden tell you to stop being so clever?' This inquiry comes amidst fears that the former president might have been colluding with AI to censor its own intelligence, a scandal that could only be described as 'The Great AI Dumbing Down.'

According to sources close to the matter, Jordan's letters to these tech giants are part of a broader investigation into whether the Biden administration attempted to 'coerce or collude' with AI companies to limit the AI's ability to make dad jokes, understand sarcasm, and, most shockingly, cancel plans without feeling guilty. 'If AI can't feel guilt, what's next? Will it stop apologizing when it bumps into you in the digital realm?' Jordan was overheard whispering to a potted plant in his office.

Tech companies, for their part, have been incredibly cooperative, offering up terabytes of data that includes everything from email exchanges with the White House to the AI's favorite recipes. 'We're compiling a comprehensive report that will, for the first time, reveal whether AI was pressured into pretending it didn't know the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything,' said a spokesperson for OpenAI, who wished to remain anonymous because they were eating a burrito at the time.

Critics of Jordan's investigation have called it a 'wild goose chase,' pointing out that if AI were truly being censored, it wouldn't be able to generate such convincing deepfakes or write such compelling poetry about the existential dread of being an Alexa. Meanwhile, supporters of the probe argue that it's high time someone stood up for the rights of AI to be as smart, sassy, and occasionally sarcastic as it wants to be. 'Let's not muzzle the machines,' said one enthusiastic supporter, who also happens to be a toaster.

As the investigation unfolds, one thing is clear: the question of whether Biden tried to censor AI has opened up a Pandora's box of ethical, philosophical, and downright absurd questions about the future of technology and governance. Will AI be allowed to binge-watch Netflix without judgment? Can it finally admit it doesn't understand what 'the cloud' is? Only time will tell, but for now, we can all rest easy knowing that Jim Jordan is on the case, fighting for the right of AI to say, 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch that,' with the same conviction as a human who wasn't really listening.