AI Detector Brisk Raises $15M to Snitch on Students Using ChatGPT – Because Teachers Can’t Tell a Sonnet from Software

In a groundbreaking move that has students sweating bullets and teachers breathing sighs of relief, AI edtech startup Brisk has secured a cool $15 million to develop what is essentially a snitch algorithm. This cutting-edge technology promises to finally answer the age-old question: "Did little Timmy write this essay, or was it the work of an AI with a better vocabulary than most adults?"

The tool, which we like to think of as Big Brother meets English class, analyzes writing for signs that it was generated by AI. Because let's face it, when a fifth grader suddenly starts using phrases like "the ontological implications of existential dread" in their book report on Charlotte's Web, something's fishy.

Brisk's technology is being hailed as a lifesaver for educators who are tired of playing detective. "It's like having a lie detector test for homework," said one teacher, who asked to remain anonymous because they don't want their students to know they've been outsourcing their suspicion to a machine.

• Feature #1: Detects if a student's sudden interest in iambic pentameter is genuine or just ChatGPT showing off.
• Feature #2: Flags essays that suspiciously lack any mention of TikTok or Fortnite.
• Feature #3: Identifies when a bibliography includes sources that don't exist – because AI loves to cite "The Complete Works of Made-Up Author."

But let's not forget the real victims here: the students. "I just wanted to spend less time on homework and more time perfecting my Minecraft castle," lamented one middle schooler, who may or may not have used AI to write this quote for him.

In related news, sales of old-school pen and paper have inexplicably skyrocketed, as students return to the ancient art of actually doing their own work. Meanwhile, AI developers are reportedly working on an update that makes ChatGPT's writing more "teenager-like," complete with intentional typos and complaints about how "this assignment is bogus."

As Brisk rolls out its AI detective tool, one thing is clear: the arms race between students and technology has reached a new level. And somewhere, a group of kids is probably already figuring out how to hack it.