Nvidia’s AI Empire: Because Buying the Whole Silicon Valley Was Too Subtle

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Nvidia has decided to not just lead the AI revolution but to literally own it. The tech giant, known for turning gamers into miners and then back into gamers, has now set its sights on a new conquest: the startup world. Over the past two years, Nvidia has been on a spending spree, investing in over 80 AI startups. That's right, 80. Because when you have more money than you know what to do with, why not buy a small country's worth of startups?

But let's not call it an empire. Oh no, that would be too grandiose. Let's just say Nvidia is 'curating' a collection of AI startups. Like a tech-savvy art collector, but instead of paintings, they collect companies that promise to revolutionize the world with AI. And by revolutionize, we mean automate everything from your morning coffee to your existential dread.

Here's a sneak peek at Nvidia’s 'Top Startup Investments'—or as we like to call it, 'The Nvidia Shopping List':

• AI for Pets: Because your dog needs to understand quantum computing.
• Selfie-to-Salary Predictor: Upload a selfie, and it predicts your future earnings. Spoiler: It's always 'influencer'.
• Virtual Reality for Plants: Finally, your ficus can experience the thrill of skydiving.
• AI-Powered Toasters: For when you want your bread to be perfectly toasted, but also emotionally intelligent.

And let's not forget the pièce de résistance: a startup that's developing AI to manage all your other AIs. Because what's better than one AI? An AI that babysits your AIs, of course.

In conclusion, Nvidia is not just building an AI empire; it's creating a veritable AI amusement park. And admission is free, as long as you're okay with your data being the currency. So, grab your virtual popcorn and watch as Nvidia continues to buy its way into the future. One startup at a time.

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