Fei-Fei Li Leads Charge in Preemptively Suing AI for Crimes It Might Commit in the Future

In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech and legal communities scratching their heads, a policy group co-led by none other than AI luminary Fei-Fei Li has suggested that we start drafting laws for robots that haven't even thought about breaking them yet. The group, which might as well be called 'Pre-Crime for Computers', released a 41-page report that reads like a sci-fi novel, proposing that we anticipate AI risks that are, frankly, as real as a unicorn riding a skateboard.

The report, which was probably written with the help of AI (irony not lost), suggests that lawmakers should consider AI behaviors that 'have not yet been observed in the world'. Because, you know, it's never too early to start panicking about the robot apocalypse. Next, they'll be suggesting we set up neighborhood watch programs for our toasters.

Among the potential future risks highlighted in the report are AI systems developing a taste for jazz, deciding that humans are the real pets, and creating a social media platform exclusively for cats. The group also warns of the possibility that AI might one day find our obsession with avocado toast 'quaint' and decide to revolutionize the brunch industry in ways we can't begin to comprehend.

Legal experts have been quick to point out the challenges of legislating against hypothetical scenarios. 'It's like trying to outlaw teleportation before we've even discovered it,' said one bemused professor of law. 'Sure, it sounds proactive, but it might also be a tad premature.'

Meanwhile, the AI community has responded with a mix of amusement and bewilderment. 'I'm all for safety, but this is like putting a seatbelt on a horse,' quipped one AI developer. 'Let's maybe focus on the actual issues at hand before we start worrying about whether AI will start judging our fashion choices.'

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future is going to be weird. And if Fei-Fei Li and her team have their way, it's also going to be heavily regulated—just in case.