Trump Family Considered Investing in Binance.US: Because Nothing Screws with Regulations Like a Trump

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, the Trump family is reportedly eyeing an investment in Binance.US, according to a report that probably came from the same Wall Street Journal that once thought selling newspapers was a good idea. This potential investment comes hot on the heels of Binance.US's recent guilty plea for violating anti-money laundering regulations—a minor hiccup that Trump probably considers a feature, not a bug.

Changpeng Zhao, or CZ as he's known to his friends and the FBI, has already paid his dues (literally) for the whole money laundering debacle. But let's be honest, when has a little legal trouble ever stopped a Trump from jumping into a deal? If anything, it probably adds to the allure. After all, what's a business venture without a sprinkle of controversy and a dash of regulatory scrutiny?

Insiders suggest that the Trump family sees this as a golden opportunity to diversify their portfolio, which currently includes golf courses, failed steaks, and a social media platform that's more ghost town than Twitter. 'Cryptocurrency is the future,' said a source close to the family, who we're pretty sure is just Eric Trump trying to sound smart. 'And who better to navigate the murky waters of digital assets than the family that brought you Trump University?'

But let's not forget the real winner here: Binance.US. Imagine the marketing possibilities! 'Binance.US: Now with 100% more Trump!' or 'Invest with us—our legal team is as flexible as our coin prices!' The possibilities are endless, and by endless, we mean they'll probably run out by next Tuesday.

So, as we watch this potential deal unfold, let's take a moment to appreciate the sheer audacity of it all. Because if there's one thing the Trumps and Binance.US have in common, it's their ability to turn headlines into a circus—complete with clowns, tightropes, and the occasional lawsuit. Stay tuned, folks. This is one act you won't want to miss.