Hurry! Only 48 Hours Left to Sell Your Soul (I Mean, Secure Your Pass) for TechCrunch All Stage

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TechCrunch has announced that time is running out to secure your precious founder or investor pass for their All Stage event. With a whopping $300+ off (because clearly, you need that kind of incentive to part with your hard-earned cash), this is the deal of the century. Or at least, of the week.

Act now, because in just 48 hours, the prices will skyrocket to levels only comprehensible to those who have mastered the ancient art of cryptocurrency trading. That's right, folks, on March 31 at 11:59 p.m. PT, the discount fairy will disappear, leaving you to pay full price like some kind of peasant.

But wait, there's more! If you're not just a lonely founder or investor wandering the digital desert, you can save even more with bundle tickets. Because nothing says "I'm serious about my tech career" like dragging your entire startup team into this financial commitment.

TC All Stage promises to be the place where founders accelerate their growth (presumably by osmosis from being in the same room as other stressed-out founders) and investors discover their next big thing (or at least, the next big thing to politely nod at before checking their phones).

So don't delay! Secure your pass today before you're forced to admit to your peers that you missed out on the discount. After all, in the tech world, FOMO isn't just a feeling—it's a lifestyle.