Actively AI Bags $22.5M to Outdo 'Dumb' AI Sales Bots - Because Apparently, They Can't Even Fake Enthusiasm

In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except everyone), Actively AI has secured a whopping $22.5 million to teach AI how to sell stuff without sounding like it's reading from a 1990s telemarketing script. The startup boldly claims that most AI sales reps have 'failed', which, let's be honest, is corporate speak for 'they're about as useful as a chocolate teapot'.

'Our AI doesn't just sell; it sells with the gusto of a carnival barker on triple espresso,' boasted the CEO, presumably while standing on a desk. 'Why settle for an AI that can't even fake enthusiasm when you can have one that oversells with the best of them?'

The so-called 'superintelligence' promised by Actively AI is said to include revolutionary features such as:

• Actually understanding human sarcasm (a first for AI)
• Pretending to care about your day (patent pending)
• Not hanging up when you say 'I'm not interested' (game-changer)

Critics, however, remain skeptical. 'I'll believe it when I don't want to throw my phone out the window after talking to it,' said one jaded sales manager, who asked to remain anonymous because they're still traumatized by their last AI sales rep experience.

Meanwhile, competitors are scrambling to keep up, with one reportedly working on an AI that can 'cry on command' to close deals. Because nothing says 'trustworthy' like synthetic sobbing.

As for the rest of us, we can only wait and see if Actively AI's solution is the sales revolution we've been promised or just another digital snake oil salesman. Either way, it's bound to be entertaining.